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Thursday, November 15, 2012

The Trust Test

*Sigh* At last, I catch my breath after my embarkment on this new journey. Yes, college truly is THAT busy! But in the midst of the scheduled events of the day, the clutter on my calendar, God whispers. He reminds me to savor the moment, to take each task as it comes, to breathe deeply, and to calm at His touch.
I become stressed. Yes, and I tell myself that no one cares about me, that everyone expects too much from me, and that I am nothing but a digit in the population of this world. Then God steps in and with the three little words that have revolutionized my life this last year, He turns my vision away from this foolishness and focuses my eyes on His power. All is grace. The inspiring words from Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts.

But Father, even these tests and this paper? I don't even understand the material. I can't finish this tonight. What am I going to do?
All is grace. Just do your best for my glory, and leave it in my hands.
But Father, I prayed about this for weeks! Why didn't You answer it the way "You were supposed to"?
All is grace. Trust me when you don't understand. You can trust me, Child.
But Father, how can this be Your plan for our country? Please let it just be a bad dream.
All is grace. My plan is perfect, and I am the Hiding Place for my children.
But Father, I don't feel well. I'm too tired to worry about things anymore. I need You to hold me.
All is grace. I never asked you worry about things. Come to me, Emily.

Daily I fail, and daily He picks me up. When I consistently spend time with my God, He is faithful to remind me of His promises, to strengthen me, and to point out my self-pity and foolishness when I allow my focus to slip from Him to the raging waters beneath me, just as Peter did that night long ago.
In all this chaos . . . this stack of books and papers, this marked-up planner, this insistent alarm clock, these tensed and aching muscles . . .  I glance out the window and notice. The moon is silver tonight. It is silver and stately and shining, as if it believes, as it gazes upon all the earth below, that everything is under control and that things are not falling apart at the seams. A favorite line of beautifully-strung words echoes in my memory. "God's in His Heaven; all's right with the world."
Oh, foolish child, just trust the Master. He is your Hiding Place.

1 comment:

Lauralea said...

Beautiful post, Emily! A much needed reminder who really runs the show~