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Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Guarding His Thoughts: 5 Ways to Help Your Husband

As a Christian wife, one responsibility of mine is to help protect my husband's purity in his thought life. Is it ultimately his responsibility to control his thoughts and desires? Yes, it is. But as his closest companion and his soul-partner, I possess great influence in his life and his heart. 
Make it a priority to jealously guard your husband's heart, just as God jealously guards His children's devotion to Him.


1. Lift him up in prayer. Make your husband's purity a priority in your regular prayer requests. 

2. Point him to Christ. It has been said that behind every great man is a woman, but truthfully, a man can be victorious only if the One ultimately behind him is Christ. Encourage your husband in his walk with God. Let him know you appreciate the time he spends in Bible study and prayer. If your husband does not currently spend time with God, let him see your own efforts at daily devotions and the positive changes it makes in your own heart. Talk with him about your concerns and gently encourage him to establish a Bible study routine. Be patient and pray for his spiritual growth.

3. Keep magazines and books containing compromising images out of the house. I know, this greatly limits the magazines to which you can subscribe, but isn't it worth it to guard your husband's eyes? 

4. Openly have access to his internet usage (and let him do the same for you). There are online programs that keep track of a person's internet usage and send a monthly email to an agreed-upon partner that shows each website visited by that person. These programs can be found for free online. If the person dearest to his heart has constant access to the sites he is visiting, he is far less likely to allow himself to visit sites that would cause that person hurt. It will not be worth it to him. 

5. Dress modestly around other men. No, you do not have to dress modestly when you are alone with your husband. Obviously. Your husband is allowed to desire you; it is how God beautifully designed marriage. A healthy marriage relationship includes that desire. But when you are around other men, you do have to dress modestly. That is not a popular message, but it is clear in Scripture. A Christian woman will desire to dress in a way that honors God. How will this help your husband to remain pure? He will see your commitment to keeping other men from desiring you in the wrong ways. He will know that your heart is his. Also, your modesty may help to influence the women who see your consistent modest dress. They may decide, from your testimony, to dress modestly, too, and the less immodesty parading the streets (and the churches), the better for every man who desires to remain pure.

Try practicing these ideas consistently. Be patient in your efforts and your prayers. Encourage your husband when you witness his own efforts at protecting his thoughts and his heart. Every time I see my husband avert his eyes from an immodestly dressed woman, my heart floods with gratitude and love. That simple action, with no prompting at all from me, shows my husband's earnest desire to remain pure for His Heavenly Father and for his wife--for me. It was my husband's own idea, when we were courting, for us to join an online program that holds us accountable to each other. Gestures like this on your husband's part should be praised. They show his commitment to Christ and to you, and they should not be taken for granted.
Remember, as his wife, it is your responsibility to help your husband to keep his thoughts pure. But do not allow worry or fear to plague you. Simply do your best to help him, pray, and leave the rest to him and to God. 
If you have any other tips or advice in this area, please feel free to leave them in the comments. We, as ladies striving to be godly wives, need each other's help and support!

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